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Confessions.
Hi Folks.. Been a few days since I last. Spoke/ Wrote... lol
Been an odd week for me! Ive been feeling Down.. Flat.. Deflated Miserable... alone..
So.. What am I going to do about it.. well all week Ive done nothing but think about it.. and wallow in it.. and boy wallowing in misery is shite!!!! so enough is enough!!!
All week my thoughts have kinda been WHAT IF?
As those of you who know me, Know!.. I also do other work in that work I advise folk.. on tools to help them to be happy!!! Lol.. well today I thought it was about time I maybe listened to my some of my own advice!
So today I decided to let go of WHAT IF.. and think WHAT NOW?
I notice flaws, Ive always put it down to being VIRGO.. I don't suffer fools, I like precision, and neatness.. and cant cope with chaos It does not suit me!!!
But noticing flaws.. Makes me a judge.. and thats a flaw in my personally..
I've been reading others blogs today in a kinda catch up.. see what folk are up to.. and I found the judge in me going mad!!! Grammer and spelling and Folk getting face lifts, and botox, boob jobs and toe jobs and discounts and etc etc etc.. I was like but there like 15yrs younger why would they.. Its a poison and and and.. WHO DO I THINK I AM!!! Like I can spell and and Grammer. Lol lol lol
While reading this week.. a book called The Shack? Im gonna share a clip from it..
What? Me? Id rather not,? he paused. I dont have any ability to judge.?
Oh, that is not true,? returned the quick reply, tinged with now a hint of sarcasm. You have already proven yourself very capable, even in our short time together. And besides, you have judged many throughout your life. You have judged the actions even the motivations of others, as if you somehow knew what those were in truth. You have judged the colour of skin and body language and body odour. You have judged history and relationships. You have even judged the value of a persons life by the quality of your concept of beauty. By all accounts, you are quite well-practised in the activity.?
Mack felt shame reddening his face, He had to admit he had done an awful lot of judging in his time. But he was no different than anyone else, was he? Who doesnt jump to conclusions about others from the way they impact us. There it was again his self-centred view of the world around him. He looked up and saw her peering intently at him and quickly looked down again.
Tell me,? she inquired, if I may ask, by what criteria do you base your judgements?
Mack looked up and tried to meet her gaze, but found that when he looked directly at her, his thinking wavered. To peer into her eyes and keep a train of coherent and logical thought seemed impossible. He had to look away and into the darkness of the corner of the room, hoping to collect himself.
Nothing that seems to make much sense at the moment,? he finally admitted, his voice faltering, I confess that when I made those judgements I felt quite justified, but now?
Of course you did.? She said in a statement of fact, like something routine; not playing for even a moment upon his evident shame and distress.
Judging requires that you think yourself superior over the one you judge,?
Fabulous book with a powerful message,,
A great Quote by Wayne Dyer is:
"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself!" Wayne Dyer
So with a deeper understanding of my personality flaw, I think I realise Im also quite tough on myself.. Ive been beating myself up a bit this week.. trying to give myself a shake.. Trying to fix me.. lol.. But I need to remember Im a girl who needs gentleness too.. its ok to be sad.. as without a little sadness you cant fully enjoy the joyfulness..
But I believe in the power of the mind.. and I choose to be joy filled.. not a judge and allow the mistakes to stay in the past as lessons learnt, I prefer to be in the Present in the NOW and not worry about WHAT IF?
So If you see me over the coming weeks.. you may see sadness in my eyes.. But once I have it worked out! It wont be long before my Laughing eyes are back..
So now that Im thinking of Mindfulness.. Im gonna spend some time on one of my other hobbies.. Watercolours.. and see if I can create something joyfilled! *smile*
Catch you all soon Mwah Lilli xx
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