Dont think Ive blogged these before ...

 

Just for our amusement..

 

mwah Lilli xxx

 

A Senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 160Kmh, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.  "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.  "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 180Kmh, then 220, then 240Kmh. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!"

So he  pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him. Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.  Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.  If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back." " Have a nice day Sir" the officer replied ...

 

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A Mormon was  seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The  flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, 'I'd rather  be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.'
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, 'Me too. I didn't know we had a choice.'

 

 

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The Irish Blonde

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet  twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope
you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.'

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled:
'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed 
'YES, YES, I WON, I WON!'

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other
dumb founded.

Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are stupid; not all blondes are dumb; but all men are men.

 

Brilliant!!!!